by Jeffrey Bishop
Madison Avenue, move over. The maddest men of them all, the dark denizens of nether realms, have started to take over the airwaves in many hideous forms, in a slew of new marketing campaigns that cater to our darkest desires. Follows is a list of current faves airing now or recently. We only found 12, and what Scurry Tails list would stop before 13? Did we miss any? You be the judge (And jury. And of course, executioner!):
Zombies schilling for Sprint
The Devil sells Mercedes’ … for the price of your soul
Vampires hawking NutriGrain breakfast
As a side note, vampiress Mrs. Morton is played by Gillian Vigman, an infamous (“more than famous”) actress previously unknown to our family by name but otherwise familiar and ubiquitous by her work for Hanes, Jack in the Box, 1-800 Contacts, Direct TV, Swiffer and many others — almost all appearing on television in the same time frame!
Dracula is happier than a GEICO customer to promote their insurance
Do the living dead enjoy brain-flavored Starbursts?
Volvo knows: Once upon a time, Little Red Riding Hood and other fairy tales were considered horror
Sasquatch messes back
Phil the Vampire — yes, the GEICO vampire — likes his Sonic burgers rare. Very rare
Open up. It’s Bill. Bill from Hell. It’s also Frankie the (Geico and Sonic) vampire
Wheat Thins asks: Are we having fun, Yeti?
For nostalgia’s sake:
Elvira’s got a punny way of selling suds
And finally, our hometown favorite:
Dawn of the Last Dorito
Parental advisory: A couple language tidbits in the bloopers of the following:
Which is your favorite? We’ll be watching for new ones as we lead up to Halloween!